


Morning Light

by frapandfurious



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awkwardness, Body Image, Confessions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Meetings, Happy Ending, Insecurity, Loneliness, M/M, Mentions of drinking and alcohol, Morning After, One Night Stands, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2020-02-18 14:32:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18701509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frapandfurious/pseuds/frapandfurious
Summary: Hux's shoulders slump and his head dips lower, exuding a sort of tired sadness. Kylo recognizes it, can feel it in his own chest, as if Hux’s loneliness and his own are one and the same.





	Morning Light

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little idea that I finally got around to writing!
> 
> May the Fourth Be With You!

Even in the crowded club, even through the flash of colorful lights and the pound of the bass, the man stands out in a way that makes everything else around him fade to a blur.

 

Or maybe Hux has just had one drink too many.

 

He’s looking at Hux too, though. Right at him, his eyes like dark pools and hair like black silk reflecting the red light from a sign above the bar.

 

Hux has never seen a man who looks like him before, and the way the light plays on his features makes them all the more alluring. He’s just Hux’s type - tall, broad,  _ strong _ . He looks like he could lift Hux without even trying. Hoist him up and fling him over his shoulder...

 

The thought makes Hux shudder and bite his lip. The man tilts his head and his mouth twitches up a little.  _ That fucking mouth... _

 

Before Hux knows what’s happening the man begins moving through the crowd towards him. He slides onto the bar stool beside Hux’s, not quite touching him but so close now, so real, no longer just a phantom across the room. Hux sweeps an appreciative gaze over him. The man barely notices; he can’t seem to stop staring at Hux.

 

The man leans in and says something Hux can’t hear over the music and the crowd. Hux shakes his head, brow creasing, hoping he’ll repeat himself. The man looks around, frustration plain on his face, and Hux anxiously tightens his grip on his glass.  _ Don’t go. _

 

Hux rises from the stool and steps forward, right into the man’s space.  _ That _ regains his attention. They still aren’t touching and it’s agonizing. The man smells like heaven. Hux can feel his body heat and see the shift of muscles beneath his black t-shirt. There’s so much of him, Hux doesn’t know what he would touch first if given the chance...

 

The stranger looks away again and Hux’s heart drops into his stomach. His pulse pounds a rhythm in his head in time with the beat of the music. Is the man already disinterested? Was seeing Hux up close all it took to change his mind? If he stands and leaves now, Hux thinks he may just go walk into the river.

 

Something brushes his arm. He looks down to see the man’s large hand there,  _ touching him _ , just barely. Hux is internally grateful that he rolled his sleeves up to his elbows, so he can feel this man’s palm burning into his bare skin.

 

Their eyes meet again and the man nods to the far side of the room. Hux looks over. It takes a moment, but then he sees what the man was searching for - a hallway leading out of the loud, crowded club, past the restrooms and presumably to the back exit.

 

Warm fingers trace down his arm and find his hand. Hux grasps them, probably a little too tightly, but the man doesn’t seem to mind. He laces his fingers with Hux’s and leads him out.

 

That’s how Hux finds himself pinned between the brick wall of the building and this brick house of a man. The wall is cold but the man is so warm, and he’s  _ everywhere _ , lips on Hux’s neck, hands slipping up under Hux’s shirt, their bodies pressed flush together.

 

It’s been too long since anyone touched him like this and it feels far too good. His whole body feels alive and thrumming with want. And it’s not just being touched, but being...wanted. Chosen. Of all the people inside, this man chose  _ him _ . That’s just as intoxicating as the hands smoothing down his sides and the hips grinding against his own.

 

Hux can do little more than pant under the onslaught. His hands wander up the man’s firm chest, longing to bury themselves in that soft dark hair but hesitating at the last moment and sliding back down.

 

It’s becoming increasingly clear he won’t last long if this keeps up, and that just won’t do. Then the man might leave, and Hux is greedy. He wants the whole night. Wants him all to himself, if just for a little while.

 

“W-wait,” he breathes, nudging at broad shoulders to ease the man back. He doesn’t seem to take the hint, latching more firmly onto the mark he’s been sucking into Hux’s neck. Hux groans and his knees tremble; he nearly forgets what he was trying to do.

 

“ _ Wait _ ,” he says again. He finally gives in and slips one hand into the man’s hair. It’s as soft as he imagined, but he only has a brief moment to appreciate it before he curls his fingers and  _ tugs _ .

 

The man flinches and stops immediately, hands stilling on Hux’s waist and head moving back to look him in the eyes. He looks drunk with lust, pupils blown wide and hair disheveled and it’s the hottest thing Hux has ever seen in his life. He wants more. He wants it all.

 

“My place,” Hux pants out, “three blocks.”

 

The man licks his lips and processes this. He sways forward and his nose brushes Hux’s cheek.

 

“Roommate?” he mumbles.

 

“No.” Hux decides not to mention his cat.

 

“You work Sundays?”

 

“No,” Hux repeats. And then it slips out before he can stop it, breathless and desperate in a way he hates himself for. “ _ Please _ .”

 

That’s all it takes. The man steps back from the wall, pulling Hux with him. For a moment Hux thinks he’ll take his hand again, but this time he puts his whole arm around Hux’s shoulders. It’s familiar, possessive. Hux hates how much he likes it.

 

_ Oh, what the hell _ .

 

Hux slides his arm around the man’s waist as they walk. He lets himself have this one good thing, just for tonight.

 

As they slip into Hux’s dark apartment, shaky hands tugging at clothes before the door has even shut all the way, Hux asks,

 

“What’s your name?”

 

Between kisses the man replies,

 

“Kylo.”

  
  


* * * * * * *  


 

Whoever’s bed he’s in, it’s a thousand times comfier than his own, Kylo notices with sleepy appreciation as he rolls over, legs tangling in the sheets.

 

He buries his face into the plush pillow with a contented sigh, closing his eyes against the morning light. Outside people talk, a dog barks, cars go by. It’s not cold, but a breeze from the half-open window makes him shiver and move closer to the warm body beside him. He slips his arm over the other man’s waist, still too pleasantly drowsy to worry about embarrassing himself with his clinginess.

 

That is, until the man in his arms tenses. His breathing changes and he shifts a little away from Kylo.  _ He’s awake _ . Kylo stares at the back of the head of red hair, anxiety creeping through his veins like poison.  _ How long has he been awake? _ He was so quiet and still, Kylo didn’t even notice.

 

_ Hux. His name is Hux, _ Kylo remembers. He isn’t sure if it’s a first or last name and now doesn’t seem like the time to ask.

 

He waits for Hux to say something but Hux remains eerily silent.  _ Pretending to be asleep _ , Kylo realizes. Suddenly Kylo’s breathing feels too loud, his body too bulky, his presence unwanted. He pulls away. Hux curls in on himself, his back to Kylo.

 

Kylo dresses quietly, avoiding glancing at the bed in spite of how much he wants to get a good look at the other man.

 

In the club the night before this man had been nothing short of ethereal. Beautiful and mysterious, lights and shadow emphasizing the angles of his face. Kylo was drawn in by his bright, sharp eyes, his slender form and hair that could have been red or blond or brown, it was impossible to tell in the lighting.

 

Later, out in the alley, he was thrilled to discover it was red, but he didn’t have a chance to really appreciate it. By then his mind was preoccupied with getting to taste and touch as much of the other man as possible in case his luck ran out.

 

So when Hux invited him back to his apartment, Kylo nearly forgot how to breathe, let alone speak. He managed a few half-formed sentences and then they were moving, and then they were inside, and then it was  _ perfect _ .

 

And now…

 

Now they’re just two strangers on a bright Sunday morning. Now there’s nothing left to do but leave.

 

Kylo lingers awkwardly in the doorway for a moment. He’s not sure what he’s hoping for. Whatever it is, it’s clear he isn’t going to get it.

 

“Uh. Thanks,” he mumbles.

 

No reply.

 

“I guess I’ll go then,” he says.

 

Still not a word. Dejected, he makes his way to the front door.

 

In the main room he pauses, his eyes drawn to a cat lying in a patch of sunlight on the couch. He doesn’t remember there being a cat last night, and Hux never mentioned one, but then, they were both a little distracted. The cat, along with the tidy apartment, the plants, the shelf packed with books, the collection of coins mounted on the wall, are all reminders that this is someone with a full life that has nothing to do with Kylo, and never will.

 

He remembers then why he hates one night stands. They only make him feel lonelier.

 

He opens the door with one hand while the other reaches to his back pocket for his wallet, where he keeps his transit pass - 

 

His fingers find nothing but the inside of his jeans. Kylo frowns and lets go of the door knob, moving his other hand to the other back pocket. Both hands hurriedly move to his front pockets. His phone is there. His wallet must have fallen out.

 

With no small amount of dread, he shuts the front door and turns back to the hallway. The only thing worse than his awkward exit will be going back in. Maybe if he’s quick Hux won’t even notice, though he doubts it.

 

Kylo moves as quietly as he can to the bedroom door and peers in cautiously.

 

Hux is up now, sitting at the edge of the bed with his back to the door. Just like last night, Kylo can’t take his eyes off him.

 

His head is bowed and the light through the gauzy curtains makes his hair look like molten copper, falling loose around his face. The sheets pool around his hips, revealing the long line of his back and narrow, freckled shoulders.

 

He looks so beautiful to Kylo just then, but also so...fragile. Like the lightest touch would shatter him.

 

Hux sighs. His shoulders slump and his head dips lower, exuding a sort of tired sadness. Kylo recognizes it, can feel it in his own chest, as if Hux’s loneliness and his own are one and the same.

 

And then Hux speaks.

 

“Of course he didn’t stay. Why would he?”

 

It takes Kylo a moment to realize Hux isn’t talking to himself but to the cat, who slipped into the room while Kylo was distracted and hopped up onto the windowsill.

 

_ Why would he? _ Hux thinks, unaware of the presence in the doorway behind him.  _ Who in their right mind would actually want me… _

 

A throat clearing behind him nearly gives him a heart attack. He whips his head around to find the man from the night before - his name is Kylo, he’s pretty sure - standing in the doorway, watching him with a strange look on his face.

 

“Sorry, I - “ Kylo begins. He stops, swallows, shuffles a little further into the room, lifts a hand to run through his messy hair. Messy from Hux’s hands, petting it, running fingers through it, clutching at it desperately…

 

“I forgot my wallet,” Kylo finishes awkwardly. His gaze skims across the floor and he scoops up the wallet where it must have fallen out in their frenzy to remove their clothes last night. “That’s all.”

 

_ That’s all _ .

 

Of course it is. Why would there be anything else?

 

Hux nods and turns away, focusing on his cat pawing at a bee on the other side of the window.

 

Kylo lingers in the room and Hux wishes he would just leave already. It's bad enough that he saw him like this at all.

 

Instead he steps closer until he's looming in Hux's peripheral.

 

The bed dips under his weight as he sits on the edge, keeping a respectable distance between them. So different from last night when he couldn't keep his hands off him. But then, Hux supposes bitterly, everyone is different at night.

 

"I had a really good time last night," Kylo says.

 

Hux almost scoffs.  _ Almost. _ He withholds it and he isn't sure why.

 

"Me too," he says simply, clasping his hands together.

 

Kylo considers him, then takes a deep breath and asks, “then what’s wrong?”

 

Hux huffs. He opens his mouth to ask  _ why the hell do you care? _ But what comes out is, "I think I need to stop going to that club. Try real dating…"

 

He stops and glances quickly at the other man to find him listening intently, eyes soft. Warm brown eyes, Hux can now see in the light, not the puddles of ink they seemed to be last night. They’re expectant, patient, waiting for him to continue.

 

Well. It’s not like he has anything to lose.

 

Hux looks down at his lap, hands twisting the sheet draped across his legs. "I started going there when I moved here. It seemed like a good way to hook up. It worked. Except...now that’s all I can seem to get. Someone who only wants a stranger. Who only wants me because it’s dark and I’m willing. No one who wants...who will - who will…”

 

He trails off.  _ Who will stay and see who I am the morning after. Who wants me in the light of day. _

 

Instead, he shakes his head and chuckles. “And I know I shouldn’t expect anything less from a nightclub, but knowing someone has to be half drunk to even consider me…”

 

“Whoa, hey,” Kylo cuts in all of a sudden, brow creased. He turns more towards Hux and Hux is reminded of the night before, sitting on bar stools inches apart but not quite touching. That moment feels like weeks ago, not mere hours.

 

“I wasn’t drinking,” Kylo says. “I  _ can’t _ drink. I’m on medication.” His jaw twitches a little and his hands grip at his jeans. He seems nervous, Hux realizes, and he can’t imagine why.

 

“Then why were you there?”

 

“I went with...friends, I guess. They ditched me though, not sure how much longer we’ll be friends. Anyway, I was about to leave but then...I saw you. And I couldn’t take my eyes off you.”

 

Hux can feel a flush spreading across his cheeks up to the tips of his ears. He turns his face back to the window, hoping the bright light will wash out the embarrassing pinkness, his complexion one of the countless things he hates about himself.

 

He tries to cover with a scoff. “Well I’m sure that’s no problem now. Those lights always make everyone look better.”

 

“...what do you mean?” Kylo has the audacity to sound genuinely confused.

 

Hux glares at him and motions to himself. “I mean,  _ this _ isn’t exactly prime real estate. I’m ginger, I’m scrawny, I’ve got this…” with a scowl he pokes at the softness of his stomach that has always seemed at odds with the bony angles of his knees and elbows. “And that’s not even taking into account my personality. I’ve been told I’m - “

 

“Hux.”

 

“ _ What? _ ”

 

“Look at me.”

 

“I am looking at you.”

 

“No, I mean, really... _ look _ at me.”

 

He  _ looks _ and again, Kylo seems nervous. His fists are clutching the bottom of his wrinkled t-shirt. With a resolute little nod he slips it over his head.

 

“Everyone has  _ this _ when they’re sitting down,” Kylo says, and his hand prods at his own stomach. “I’m not perfect, not even close. Were  _ you  _ drunk last night? What did you think you were getting, exactly?”

 

Kylo is staring at him with an unnerving intensity, but there’s something vulnerable in it. As if he’s just as afraid to be seen for who he really is.

 

Hux sweeps his eyes over the man beside him, really looking at him for the first time. In the daylight he’s less of the chiseled god Hux’s lust-addled mind had envisioned, his features less elegant and more awkward, his body muscular but also soft and speckled with moles.

 

Not perfect. Still beautiful.

 

Kylo lets him look his fill and then sits back, pulling his shirt back on. “As for your personality,” he mumbles. “I barely even know you. Maybe let me decide for myself?”

 

Hux’s pulse quickens. “And...how do you intend to do that?”

 

Kylo’s eyes meet his.

 

“Let me take you to breakfast?”

**Author's Note:**

> find me on [tumblr](https://obsessions-and-dreams.tumblr.com/)


End file.
